


So Beautiful

by Jademarie (jadea)



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, Necrophilia, No Sex, One Shot, attraction to the dead, my first attempt at writing something a little different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 04:31:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadea/pseuds/Jademarie
Summary: Lucas had never met anyone more beautiful.





	So Beautiful

Lucas was a lonely person. He always found himself unable to connect with others. Lucas found that most people were just entirely too uninteresting for him to want to get to know beyond a surface level. He’d tried to become friendly with many people over his short twenty six years of life. He attempted to make friends while he was in school, and he’d attempted the typical niceties one was expected to throw towards coworkers on the occasion, but ultimately, whenever he spoke to others, he’d find himself drifting off and having to make an excuse to get away from their dull existences.

Though most people were wholly uninteresting, Lucas did find that some people were good for looking at. He found that men were especially aesthetically pleasing. Lucas always loved watching men. He loved the way they moved, the way they stood, their broad shoulders, and their sharp jaws. He also loved fucking them. There was nothing better than finding an attractive man and having said man fuck him into oblivion.

He was always able to create a connection with another human being when he was having sexual contact with them, but after that, things would become decidedly less interesting. After mind-blowing sex, mediocre sex, or just plain terrible sex, Lucas found that he wanted his companion to leave him as soon as possible. There would be no round twos, no post coitus pillow talk, and certainly no half asleep cuddling. After they fucked him, Lucas practically forced them out the door. He had likened these men to the condoms they pulled off of their dicks after they came. Once a condom was used, it was dirty, disgusting, unwanted, and needed to be tossed out immediately. It was the same with men. No one wanted to sit around staring at a used condom, and Lucas certainly didn’t want to sit around staring at a man he’d already used. They were always less attractive after they’d fucked him. The minute they touched him, they were no longer worth looking at.

Which is what led Lucas to his dark, cold basement on a very fitting dark, rainy day. He entered the dark space and clicked on an overhead light. The light bulb flickered on and off like he was in some sort of horror movie. The idea wasn’t too far off, but Lucas wasn’t part of a horror film and no one would be dying.  Instead. someone was already dead.

Lucas pulled on the door to the large freezer at the back of the room. After opening the small latched door, he placed a hand on the cold steel tray on the inside. Feeling overwhelmed, he took a deep breath. His heart was beating way too fast, and his hands were feeling way too unsteady. He pulled the steel tray out of its compartment, revealing the dead body that lay atop it.

Lucas inhaled sharply and held his breath for a few seconds.  He smiled happily at the corpse and felt his eyes water slightly. After days and months of working his new job at the morgue, Lucas had coincidentally, come the perfect man. The perfect body.  It was just his luck that the body had come in during his solo shift.  He’d accepted the body, and luckily for Lucas, not a single soul had stepped into the morgue that day.  He easily cleared the man’s record from the computer that night and he easily escaped with his very own John Doe. If anyone paid close enough attention to the security footage from that night, Lucas would simply tell them he transferred the body to another morgue for investigative purposes. It was a story that surely wouldn’t hold up, but that wasn’t a concern for Lucas at the moment.

Lucas placed his hand over the man’s cheek. He stroked the icy skin under his palm and marveled at the man’s face.  The corpse had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. John’s skin was pale, and only made paler by the temperature of the freezer and the fact that there was no blood flowing through his body. The folds of his eyelids served to emphasize the round almond shape of his eyes. His long down-turned nose drew attention to his lips. His thin upper lip sat above a fuller bottom lip. Even though the lips were cracked and blue, they looked perfectly kissable to Lucas. The man’s ears stuck out further than the average person’s did, but Lucas found that they complemented the rest of his features well. The man was gorgeous. If only Lucas had been able to meet him while he were still alive.

 Lucas would’ve loved to have watched John’s beautiful face above him, contorted in pleasure. He imagined what John might’ve looked like in the throes of passion. Eyes closed tight, mouth slightly open as he took shallow breaths with each thrust, those big ears of his flushed bright red. Lucas could imagine John leaning down and sinking his teeth into his neck. Maybe hard enough to draw blood. John did look like he could have been a vampire. A very, very sexy vampire. It definitely would’ve been nice to have met this man alive.

He sighed. There was no use thinking about something that was moot. Lucas didn’t get the chance to meet John when he was alive, but it was better that way. Lucas could spend his time looking upon this gorgeous specimen and never have to worry about tossing the man out on his ass later. John was dead, and he could never speak to Lucas, let alone bore him to tears with anecdotes about his day or about what some idiot in the line at the grocery store had done. Lucas would get to keep this frozen image of John forever. Or at least until his body started rotting.

Lucas scanned the rest of John’s body. His hair was short and black. It didn’t feel as silky as he had imagined it would when he ran his fingers through it. It was cold and stiff, but Lucas liked the way the fine strands felt against his fingertips. John’s chest was unmarred and spoke of the hours he must’ve spent in the gym when he was alive. His arms and legs were lean and muscled. It was clear that John definitely had liked to keep in shape.

Lucas loved looking at such a fine body. A body free of blemishes and imperfections. He rubbed his hands down the length of one of John’s arms and grimaced. John was surely perfect, all except for the small wounds that covered the insides of his wrists.

The wounds were small and straight, right at the base of John’s wrists. Lucas took one of John’s large hands in his. If John had still been alive, the wounds would have healed and would have left behind the pale silvery marks of scars on John’s flesh. They probably would have been invisible to most people, but certainly noticeable to one’s John would have allowed close to him, but since John was dead, the wounds were still open. Having wounds heal was an advantage of being alive. One John clearly couldn’t be afforded, unfortunately for Lucas. Lucas had snatched John out of the morgue before he had had the chance to properly sew John’s wrists up. That was Lucas’s mistake of course. He’d been so intent on taking John’s body home without anyone noticing he was stealing it, he had forgotten all about the gaping wounds in his haste. Now, Lucas would have to stitch the leathery skin together himself. It was normally an easy task for a coroner, but Lucas hadn’t yet brought himself to do it.  He’d have to at some point though. Maybe when he could bring himself to look at the wounds that tainted John’s skin for more than a few minutes.

John had supposedly been found in a hotel room sitting in a bathtub full of bloody water with both his wrists slit. Lucas scoffed.  John had chosen such a cliché way in which to kill himself. The man had clearly seen one too many movies. Lucas had briefly wondered why a man who looked like John would possibly have wanted to kill himself. He was sure the man would’ve had dozens of people falling all over themselves to do anything for him. Lucas was even surer that he would have been one of them. Perhaps John was like him, and didn’t find other people to be much company. Maybe the only difference between him and Lucas was the fact that Lucas chose to continue living regardless of having no true human interaction.

 Lucas rubbed his fingers over John’s slit wrists. In result of killing himself, Perfect John was left with the hideous lacerations that distracted Lucas from his good looks. Every time Lucas looked at John, he’d see a face that lured him in with its beauty, but then he’d look down and he couldn’t help but see the results of a successful suicide attempt. The Ugliness on John’s wrists was jarring.

Sudden anger flowed through Lucas. He scowled at John, “How dare you ruin such a flawless body?”

Lucas wondered again why such a beautiful man like John would kill himself. What was hurting him so badly, the only way he could escape was through taking his own life? Lucas didn’t know, and hated that he would never find out.  A living John and what went on in his head would be a mystery Lucas would never get to solve.

Lucas took a deep breath and calmed himself down.  He dropped John’s hand and stroked the man’s hair again. “It’s okay. They’re ugly,” he said referring to John’s wrists. “But you’re still beautiful. I’ll just ignore it okay,” he said and then bent down to kiss John’s cheek. “I’m actually glad you did it. If you hadn’t, we probably would never have met.”

Lucas yawned. He was tired after his long shift at the morgue. He didn’t want to say goodbye to John, but if he was planning on going into work tomorrow and pretending like he hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d have to make sure he got enough sleep to ensure he was on his p’s and q’s. Lucas pressed two fingers to his lips, kissed them and pressed them to John’s own lips. With one last look over the man’s still body, Lucas stood behind the metal drawer and pushed it into the cabinet.

***

            After a particularly grueling day at the morgue, Lucas went home and headed straight to his basement. He pulled out John’s cabinet and hopped up onto the steel table with the man. He had had a custom freezer made and delivered to his home ages ago. No one had even asked him why he could possibly have needed it in his home. Money was great when people let it do the talking for them. Lucas spread the thick blanket over his legs and lay his head on John’s icy shoulder as he wrapped an arm around John. Though the drawer had been custom designed to be larger than average, it was still a tight squeeze with two fully grown men on the table. Not to mention the heavy pea coat Lucas had on between the two of them. It was cold enough that Lucas could see his breath and he was sure he was shaking despite his coat and blanket. Cuddling up to a cold ass body wasn’t very conducive when aiming to retain body heat, but he didn’t care. He needed this. He needed to snuggle in next to his beautiful man. It was freezing, but he could handle it.

            “I thought about you all day,” Lucas said to John. “Mostly about who you were with before you died. The police said you’d gone to the hotel with some man you’d met online, so he didn’t know anything about you. I guess you wanted one last fuck huh?” John didn’t reply. “Was it good at least?”

            Lucas imagined a deep timbre resonating from John’s lifeless body. “Of course it wasn’t good. Would I have killed myself if the guy had been any good?”

Lucas thought that John would have laughed at the morbid humor.  Deep and heartily. Lucas swore he could feel the man’s chest vibrate, but when he lifted his head and looked at John’s face, the man was just as dead as ever. Lucas lay his head back down on John’s shoulder.

            Lucas chuckled. He tucked his head into the crook of John’s neck. He sighed in contentment when he realized his head fit perfectly there. He breathed in the stale scent of the freezer and kissed John’s neck. “So what happened? Why’d you hook up and then kill yourself?”

            “I’d already planned on killing myself. There was nothing else to it.”

            “But why kill yourself at all?”

            “Because.”

            “Just because?” Lucas probed. “There must be a reason. Everyone has a reason.”

            “I wanted to kill myself. So I did.”

            Lucas huffed. John was just as cold as his dead body. Lucas resigned himself once again to never finding out the truth. He decided to move on from that line of questioning. “Are you religious John?”

            “No”

            “Hmm,” Lucas hummed. “Isn’t suicide a sin or something?”

            “How would I know?”

            Lucas shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve just heard that before and I was just wondering if you knew.”

            “Even if it was, it doesn’t matter now does it? I’m already dead.”

            “True,” Lucas agreed. “My parents were very religious. They went to church every Sunday and I’d always catch them praying. Maybe I should have gone to church and asked God to send me someone as beautiful as you. Do you think he would’ve John?”

            “I’m not God so how would I know?”

            Lucas smacked John’s shoulder. “You’re really no fun are you? It’s a good thing you’re pretty.” Lucas changed the subject. “Were you ever in love?”

            “No. I dated. I dated a lot, but I never loved.”

            “Me either,” Lucas said as he threw and arm over John’s chest. “I just never met anyone who was capable of holding my attention for more than five minutes. I’ve met plenty of attractive people, but I’ve never cared to look past their looks. They just weren’t worth it.” Lucas scoot down under John’s armpit and nuzzled John’s ribs. “I think you would have been worth it though. You’re so beautiful, there’s no way I could’ve ever stopped looking at you. I wouldn’t have let myself. You deserve to be looked at. There must not have been anyone who looked at you the way I do. If there was, they never would have let you go.”

            Lucas sat up and looked down at John. The man looked so peaceful and at rest. Death was surely something that delivered one from the grief, stress, and misgivings of being alive. John must’ve gotten exactly what he’d wanted when he’d killed himself. Freedom, probably. Freedom from whatever had been plaguing him for however long.

Death was one of the things that had interested mankind for the longest time, if only because no one knew what to expect from it. Was there life after death? Was reincarnation real? Was there a Heaven? A Hell? Was there absolutely nothing at all?

Lucas had never really questioned it before. When Lucas was a teenager, his parents, when they actually deigned to speak to him, spoke about church. They had tried to force him into believing in religion and had heavily preached at him and told him he should go. He should repent before it was too late.  People who didn’t get saved and didn’t repent weren’t allowed into Heaven. Lucas chuckled. He really hoped that if there truly was a Heaven or a Hell that someone was saving him a seat in the latter, because if his parents were in Heaven, that was the absolute last place he wanted to be.

 _Although_ , Lucas thought as he passed his fingers through John’s stiff hair. Heaven might not be a bad place, especially if John would be there. But _would_ John be there? _Was_ suicide a sin like he had heard? Lucas thought for a moment. He’d never actually read a bible and certainly never listened when his parents managed to force him into a holy institution. Sin or not, Lucas decided it didn’t matter. If there was a God there would be no way he’d send one of his gorgeous creations into an eternity of hellfire and damnation. _Lucas_ would surely get a ticket straight to hell, no doubt, but John? John was far too divine.

Lucas lay back down and placed his head on John’s chest. He listened for a heartbeat, but basement was just as quiet as ever. Lucas tapped a steady rhythm against John’s chest. He listened to the thump, thump, thump. It bore no resemblance to the sound of a real heart, but it was enough to lure him into a quiet calm. Lucas nearly lulled himself to sleep, but was jolted out of it when he got tired enough to stop the drumming.

“Where are you right now John? Huh?” Lucas asked.

“I can’t tell you where I am.”

“Top secret, huh?” Lucas joked. “I’m not allowed to know? Or is it that you don’t know where you are?”

“I’m somewhere only the dead are privy to.”

“Are you somewhere I can go? Can we meet when I get there?”

“Maybe.”

Lucas mulled over that maybe. The things he’d give to be able to meet John in the flesh. Lucas looked at John and laughed. In the _living_ flesh at least.

Lucas quickly sat up as he felt an impulse running through his veins. He took off the heavy coat he was wearing. He threw it onto the floor and looked back at John.

“Are you ready?” he asked John. “I’m going to come find you.”

“If you must.”

Lucas didn’t actually know if it was even possible. Who knew if he could find John in some sort of  Afterlife, but in Lucas’s mind it was certainly worth a chance. John was someone Lucas had always hoped he could meet and then when he finally met him, the man was dead. It was definitely worth a try to connect with the man on another plane if he could. There was nothing left for Lucas in this one after all. He had no friends, no family, no love and no desire to gain those things from the slim pickings he’d seen. Perhaps he could find them in death.

Lucas reached out and latched onto the door of the freezer. He pulled hard on it, and used it as leverage to pull the drawer forward into the compartment. Once the table was half in, Lucas pressed both his hands flat against the freezer walls. He ignored the ice cold burn that pressed against his palms and pushed the table into the cramped space completely. Once the job was done, he turned over onto his stomach. He moved carefully, so that he wouldn’t knee John in any delicate places. He grabbed the underside of the freezer door and pulled it towards him. He couldn’t close it all the way, but he pulled as close to closed as he could.

When he was done with that, he turned back over and lay down once more on John’s shoulder. He huddled in close to John as he started to shiver. There was no combating the extremely uncomfortable freezing temperature, but Lucas wouldn’t have to worry about that for long. He’d die soon enough from hypothermia, if he didn’t manage to use up all the oxygen in the small box and suffocate first.  

“It’s only a matter of time now,” Lucas told John. He reached down and grabbed one of John’s hands.  He noticed that he never did sew his wrists back together, but it was too late for that now. He’d be so pissed at himself if those scars carried over into the Afterlife. Ignoring that possible outcome, Lucas stroked his thumb over John’s hand. John’s fingers were even more rigid and cold in the chamber, but Lucas didn’t have too much of a problem spreading the man’s fingers and sliding his own in between them. He snuggled into John and pressed his now dry lips to John’s shoulder.

“I can’t wait to get out of here,” Lucas whispered in shaky breaths. “Imagine how great it would be to see you alive. The life in your eyes, the warmth in your skin, the breath in your lungs, the beat of your heart, the thoughts in your mind.”

Lucas closed his eyes and willed himself to stay still, hoping that death would set in quicker. He lay there for minutes upon minutes. After a while, Lucas could no longer feel his limbs, his body felt heavy, and his mind felt foggy. He smiled contentedly as much as his facial muscles would allow.

After a few more minutes, Lucas was sure that death was upon him. Oddly enough, it felt like the fog in his mind had lifted. He was sure he’d only last for a few more minutes. However, in a moment of clarity, the last thought in his mind was a very logical one. He’d taken his chances on meeting John in some sort of Afterlife, but he hadn’t thought about either of their feelings if he did. He been so temporarily blinded by John’s beauty and wanting to be near it that he definitely hadn’t thought this entire thing through.

John’s body had frozen enough that he was sure he would break if he tried to move even an inch. After several attempts, Lucas managed to pry his frozen lips apart. Just enough of a sliver to ask, “Would you like me John? Would I be enough for you? Would you be enough for me?”

John didn’t reply of course. Nor did Lucas have any life left in his body to even think of an imagined response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           


End file.
